


The Truth

by kinneyb



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6673870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinneyb/pseuds/kinneyb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin finally finds out what Michael said (in season 3 episode 1) that made Brian punch him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 is Justin finding out what Michael said, chapter 2 will be Justin confronting Michael about what he said. I always wanted Justin to find out what Michael said but sadly it never happened and so I decided I would take canon into my own grubby little hands. Hope you enjoy! And it isn't really Michael bashing but also if you love Michael a lot you might still wanna steer clear just in case.

Brian sighed. He really, _really_ didn’t understand how he had let Justin convince himself playing truth or dare with two people would be fun. Spoiler alert; it wasn’t. Maybe it would have been but then Justin had to go and make a rule about no sexual dares, but truths are fine he quickly added like he had a few questions of his own he was planning on asking.

“Come on,” Justin whined, pulling on his arm.

He wouldn’t still be playing if Justin hadn’t made promises of a blowjob that would, pun intended, blow his mind. He shrugged lazily. “Fine, truth or dare?”

The excited smile Justin flashed when he realized Brian was still playing his silly game might’ve made the entire boring game worth it - might being the key word. Brian held back a smile of his own as he watched Justin closely, his ‘thinking’ face on as he decided which he wanted.

“Truth,” Justin announced finally.

Brian thought of the easiest, lamest question he could ask. He leaned back against the couch and continued eyeing Justin. “Okay, what is your biggest regret?”

He expected some lame response back - after-all what a cliche question but then when Justin spoke a little too quickly Brian immediately felt like shit.

“When I left you for Ethan.”

Brian tensed. “Oh.”

Justin grinned ear from ear. “Don’t look so shocked.” His eyes sparkled with amusement. “Surely you know that’s my biggest regret. How could it not be?”

“I didn’t,” Brian replied slowly. “I thought the prom - ” He lingered on his words, not really sure if mentioning the bashing, even now, would be a good idea.

“I don’t regret that, Brian,” Justin said instantly, voice soft.

Brian nodded curtly. “Your turn.”

Shaking his head, Justin decided he could give him a break - just this once. “Truth or dare?”

“I guess I’ll be boring,” Brian drawled. “Truth.”

Exactly what Justin had been hoping for. His throat suddenly felt horribly dry and he swallowed a few times. “Going back to the topic of, uh, around when I got with Ethan - ” he mindlessly pulled at a thread hanging from his sweater, considering if he really wanted to ask this “ - something happened when we weren’t… together, and I’ve always wondered about it.”

He finally looked up. Brian was tense again. Greaaat.

“Nothing to do with you,” Justin assured him. “It has to do with Michael.” Brian relaxed but only slightly. He narrowed his eyes and waited. “Well, during the party where I brought Ethan, you… punched him. That was really shocking. I mean, I never thought you’d ever raise a hand towards Michael!” Justin paused, searching Brian’s face. His face was completely calm. God, he hated how he could do that when he knew his mind was buzzing with millions of different thoughts. “What did he do to make you punch him?”

Brian stayed silent. Justin knew it wouldn’t be as easy as that.

“Please?”

Still nothing.

Now he was feeling nervous. “Brian, come on, you know you can tell me anything and I know it had to have been something terrible for you to do that." Brian simply stared back at him. Justin had gotten pretty good at reading him but right now he was at a blank. “I know you must've had a good reason for doing it. I know. The others acted like it was your fault but I knew you would never do that if he didn’t deserve it.” He smiled sheepishly. “And I can easily imagine Michael deserving it.”

Not saying a word, Brian stood up.

Fuck, he was really losing him now. Justin scrambled, blocking Brian before he could escape out of the room. “Brian,” he repeated, voice a little more firm, “did it have to do with me?”

Brian scoffed. “Conceited there, aren’t ya, sunshine?”

Justin knew the game he was playing. “Don’t try and bait me,” he placed a hand on Brian’s arm and squeezed. “I just want to know… If you’re this determined not to tell me it really was something terrible, wasn't it?"

He saw a look in Brian's eyes; a look he had seen only a few times before and never in good situations. "You don't want to know," he stated simply. "Trust me."

But he didn't walk away, and Justin knew he had him. He kept his hand on Brian's arm, stroking the soft exposed skin with his fingertips. He glanced at the ground for a moment, stared at his feet because Brian might just be right - maybe he didn't want to know but a part of him needed to know, yearned to know what could've pushed Brian, who despite it all usually did a damn good job at controlling himself, over the edge. He looked back up, licked his lips. "Brian."

Brian slowly, ever so slowly, glanced at him and their eyes connected, locked on each other. "We should," his eyes flickered towards the couch, "sit down."

Justin nodded and squeezed his arm one last time before letting go and heading for the couch. He sat on the left side, keeping a lot of room for Brian. When Brian sat, Justin kept silent - he knew pushing him would be a bad idea - and merely waited. After what seemed like two hours (but Justin realized was more like five minutes), Brian started talking, "Michael can be a real bitch."

He almost laughed but then he saw the serious expression Brian was dawning and he sucked his bottom lip in.

"I know that," Brian continued, shrugging his shoulders a little, "but I don't think the others do."

Justin knew where he was coming from; the others babied Michael, made him out like he could do no wrong. Justin still hadn't figured out why that was, but he knew it probably had to do with years of conditioning from Debbie not to "hurt her son or you'll regret it". When he did something wrong, when he said something terrible, Justin always braced for the backlash - the same kind Brian would get - but it never happened. It angered Justin but he never said anything mostly because he knew Brian was aware of it and if he really wanted something done about it he'd do it himself.

"When we were younger sometimes he'd say things that would even make me feel on edge," Brian cracked a smirk, glancing at Justin, "and I'm the king of - "

Justin kicked him softly with his foot before he could say what he knew was coming. "You're not an asshole, you know, just honest."

"Debatable," Brian replied, smiling fading. "Anyway, that day... he pushed it. Pushed me too far."

Justin peered down at his hands, chewing nervously on his lip. He suddenly wasn't so sure he wanted to know what Michael had said or done. Brian noticed apparently because he reached over and grabbed the closest part of him he could - Justin's knee - and squeezed. "I told you," Brian began, and despite not looking up Justin could tell Brian was staring at him - could feel it. "We don't have to do this."

"I want to know," Justin replied after a beat, leveling his head up so he was staring back at Brian. "Continue."

Brian bit the inside of his cheek; one of his biggest nervous habits. "He saw you there with Ethan," Justin felt guilt building inside his gut right away and somehow the fact Brian had called Ethan by his real name, not Ian, just made it more grueling, "and he started going off." Brian paused, leaning his head back against the top of the couch. He stared up at the ceiling, recalling the moment. "I was hurt." That was a little hard for him to admit - even for the new and improved Brian. Justin kept the smile off his face as he nodded for him to go on. "I was hurt by the entire goddamn situation and I really hated seeing you with that fiddler dip-shit." Now Justin couldn't keep the smile from showing; that was more like it. "But I was never angry at you."

Justin perked up. "You weren't?"

"Fuck no," Brian breathed. "I was angry at the universe, sure, but you did what you needed... wanted to do, and I respected that. Respected you for it."

Justin licked his lips. "Brian - "

"No getting cheesy or I won't finish the story," Brian interrupted, lifting an eyebrow as he watched Justin go red in the face. He knew him too well. Justin gestured for him to go on. "But I was on edge the entire time we were apart. I just felt... not myself. I shouldn't have even showed up at the party, I knew I wasn't in the right state of mind."

Justin reached out and grabbed his shoulder. "What happened was not your fault, Brian, Michael deserved it."

Brian laughed. "I haven't even told you what he said yet."

"True," Justin replied instantly, "but I believe in you and you wouldn't have done it if he didn't."

Justin saw the smile that graced Brian's lips just before he turned his head away. For a minute, he stayed like that, not looking at him, not saying a word, before he finally glanced back towards him. "He came up to me, I guess you saw that part, right?" Justin nodded. "Well, he saw you and he started going off, complaining, talking shit." Brian breathed out something that sounded kind of like a laugh but Justin knew better; he was fighting to hold himself together. "I told him to shut up but he just wouldn't."

"Brian..."

"Then he," Brian cleared his throat, "really pushed it."

Justin ran his fingers up Brian's neck and rested his hand in his hair. "If you don't want to, Brian, you don't have to tell me." He had changed his mind. If Brian really didn't want to tell him, he decided he would respect that. This wasn't just about him right now, it was about him and Brian and he hadn't realized that. He leaned in, pressed his nose against Brian's cheek and nuzzled the warm skin. "I don't want you pushing yourself."

Brian reached around and wrapped an arm around Justin. "You deserve to know," he muttered. "I just don't want you..." He hesitated.

"You don't want me going off on Michael?" Justin finished knowingly, resting his head on Brian's shoulder. "I won't. Promise."

Brian breathed out. "He said I should have left you there."

Justin blinked, waiting for more. That wasn't exactly what he had expected. "What? At the lamppost?" He assumed that was what he meant as it was the most plausible possibility. For Michael, things would've been so much better if Brian had never met him at all.

"In the parking garage."

Suddenly the color drained from his face. "After I was bashed?" Justin was surprised by how calm his voice sounded when he definitely did not feel calm.

Brian slowly looked at him. He didn't say a word, but Justin had his answer and before he could stop himself he was standing up. Seconds later, Brian was by his side. "Justin?" He reached out for him but as if instinctively Justin pulled back, his eyes wild. Brian wiped his hands off on his sweatpants, feeling more and more nervous. "Listen, I shouldn't have told you - "

"He basically said you should've let me die," Justin exclaimed, feeling hot and cold all at once. "Michael... Michael said that - the same man I fucking write Rage with said that." This time when Brian reached for him, he didn't fight the embrace but welcomed it, leaning against Brian's side as the older man wrapped his arms around him. "I know I made a mistake with Ethan but I didn't..." Justin furrowed his brows. "I didn't deserve that, did I?"

Brian tensed. "No fucking way. Michael was just being a prick." Justin nodded slowly, glancing up at Brian. Brian quickly noticed his cheeks; wet and slick. Goddamn fucking Michael. "Don't," he said, voice warning. "Just don't, okay? Fucking hell, the twat didn't even know what he was talking about - and don't think for a minute I ever felt that way or wished for that, Justin. I - "

"How could he say that to you?"

Brian suddenly snapped his lips shut. "Excuse me?" he asked after a moment, voice thickly laced with confusion.

Justin grabbed both his cheeks with no warning, pulling him in for a kiss. Brian, confused or not, melted against Justin and returned the kiss eagerly. When Justin pulled away, face flushed and lips wet with something that definitely wasn't tears now, Brian was almost hoping the topic would be dropped. Of course not. "He knows how much the bashing affected you. It fucked with you almost as much as it fucked with me, and that's saying a lot." Justin kept his hands planted on his cheeks, stroking his thumbs across his cheekbones. "How could your own best friend do that?" Brian wasn't sure if he was actually expecting an answer or not. Justin breathed out, took the plunge. "I'm talking to him tomorrow."

He saw the worry, even betrayal, that flashed behind hazel eyes. " _Justin_."

"I won't go off on him," Justin said firmly, "that's what I promised but that doesn't mean I can't at least talk with him."

Brian stared at him hard as a rock. "No drama?"

Justin hummed, "I would say no drama but you know me, always the drama princess."

"You're a twat," Brian sighed, leaning down and resting his forehead against Justin's. "Just don't... push it, okay?"

Justin pecked his lips. "I won't."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm finally finished with chapter 2 (and the last chapter) of this little installment. Now I know this might be different from what some people were expecting but I tried keeping it as real as I could because Justin, I don't think, would've (this takes place a couple years after the finale) really been angry at what Michael had said as much as what the entire situation implied. Also Justin /is/ the captain of the Brian Kinney Defense Squad so are we surprised?

Justin stood outside the comic book store, peering inside at Michael as he helped out a customer. He knew it had been his idea to confront Michael but now he was starting to think it might not be such a good idea after-all. As it was, he was friends with Michael. Not super close (they'd never be best friends and he knew that) but they were civil and they worked together on Rage exceptionally well, and Justin thought Michael, despite any differences, respected him at least. Well, that was before he had learned the truth.

If he brought this up, could they go back to the way things were before? He knew the answer right away; of course not. But on the other hand, could he continue going on like nothing was wrong when that wasn't true - something _was_ wrong. He felt betrayed, angry. If he kept his feelings cooped up inside he knew it would only be a matter of time before he exploded.

He wasn't Brian - he wouldn't do that, he wouldn't wait that long. He would rather face the issue with calmness, tact.

Pushing his thoughts to the back of his mind, he opened the door and stepped in. Immediately Michael glanced up. "Justin," he smiled. "Ma must've called you."

Justin blinked. "Called me about what?"

Just then, as if on cue, the door opened behind him and he turned so fast he almost tripped, watching as the entire goddamn group shuffled inside the store - Deb, Emmett, Ted, Lindsay, Melanie, Ben. But the most shocking part was the last person who walked in; Brian, his eyes glued on a comic book near the entrance that Justin knew couldn't possibly be _that_ interesting. Justin pursed his lips, a little -okay, _immensely_ \- annoyed that Brian had probably known about this beforehand and hadn't warned him.

He didn't want the entire group here for this - this was between him and Michael, nobody else needed to be involved.

"What's going on?" Justin asked, finally glancing away from Brian and settling his gaze on Michael. 

Michael looked happy, a genuine smile planted on his face as he circled the counter and joined the group. Debbie pulled him into a hug as soon as she could. "I thought Ma called you." He said after they separated, looking at Justin with confusion. "I invited us all out for dinner, the store has been doing really great recently and I thought I could treat everybody. Ma said she would call you and - "

"- Brian," Justin finished knowingly. "But he didn't tell me anything about it."

Oh, Brian wouldn't be getting a blowjob for many, _many_ weeks. And Justin was pretty sure he knew that without even needing to be told if the sour look on his face was any indication. Justin couldn't help smirking at that; bastard deserved it. Michael apparently picked up on absolutely nothing as he kept his eyes glued on Justin, oblivious as ever, "I'm sure he just forgot - "

Justin lifted an eyebrow. Brian never forgot anything unless he wanted to.

" - But I'm glad you showed up just in time." Michael hugged Ben from the side. "Chinese okay with everyone?"

Brian made some dick-ish comment about too many carbs - as expected - but the others all agreed. Justin merely nodded, watching as the group piled out the small door. Right before Brian could slip out, Justin grabbed his hand and pulled him back inside. Michael stood at the door, watching them. "I need to lock up," he explained when Justin looked at him like he was imposing. "But," finally the man was catching on, "on second thought you guys can."

He tossed the key and Justin grabbed it. "We'll be out in a minute."

Michael nodded and disappeared outside with the others. Justin watched, waited until the door was firmly shut behind him before turning his eyes on Brian.

"Easy boy," Brian said, resting a hand on Justin's neck, "you look like you've aged five years in two minutes."

Justin huffed. "Brian, you said you would let me do this. Shit, you even suggested today would be a good time for 'our talk' but that's only because you knew about this, didn't you?" He stepped back, Brian's hand dropping from his neck. "Brian, you have to trust me, okay? I know, even now, that's about goddamn impossible for you to do but I wasn't going to make a scene."

"Listen," Brian sighed, running his fingers through his hair, "I just..."

Justin interrupted him, face softening. "You just wish you'd never told me?"

Brian merely stared at him.

"I don't want to cause drama," Justin continued after a minute, "but I'm not not like you, Brian, I can't bottle shit up like you do."

Brian scoffed. "Could, but won't."

There he was baiting him again. He really was annoyingly good at that; pulling on the strings he knew would upset a person the most, but not this time. Justin reached out and grasped Brian's face in his hands, staring at him with calm, collected eyes. Justin didn't want to do something if it truly made Brian uncomfortable but he had to think of what was best for him too - he couldn't always put Brian first. "I'm not playing this game, I'm confronting Michael no matter what you say or what happens."

"Fine," Brian said after a beat, "but can I at least be forgiven?"

Justin lifted an eyebrow. "You don't care about forgiveness."

Brian shrugged. "But I do care about your mouth on my dick."

Rolling his eyes, Justin pecked his lips. 

******

Justin had a plan; get through dinner with no mention whatsoever of why he had visited Michael earlier and then when dinner was over, he could pull him aside and discuss things privately. Sounded like a good idea, right? Of course Justin should've known things would never go that easy - not with his luck. Before they had even been served, Michael opened his big mouth.

"So Justin," Michael focused his attention on Justin who was sitting across from him, "why did you come over earlier? I mean, if you didn't know about dinner."

Right away Justin started racking his brain for an excuse. "Oh," Justin started, still thinking. He side-eyed Brian who was sitting next to him, silently begging for help. Brian barely lifted one shoulder in a half-ass shrug and took a swig of his beer. Fuck forgiving him. Brian wasn't getting another blowjob ever again. Looking back at Michael, he licked his lips. "I... wanted to talk to you."

He hoped Michael would be happy with that for now. He wasn't.

Of fucking course he wasn't.

"What about?" Michael asked innocently, and for a minute Justin realized Michael might not even _remember_ what he had said years ago and for some reason that irked Justin even more. 

Now all eyes were on Justin, waiting. Some of the group made no effort in hiding that they were listening while others at least had the decency to be discreet about eavesdropping. Justin wished the waitress would hurry up with the food already, take the attention off him - off this entire conversation. He slowly glanced around the table, his gaze lingering on Debbie the longest, unsure of how she would even react. If it was Brian, he knew she'd go crazy but this was her son - her precious, dear son who seemingly could do no wrong.

 "I don't," Justin cleared his throat, looking back at Michael. When he felt Brian grab his hand under the table, he let out a small relieved sigh and squeezed. Brian was _so_ not an asshole. "I don't think this is the... right time for this kind of conversation." Michael gave an odd look. "It's just personal, Michael, trust me when I say you don't want to do it around -"

Before he could finish, Debbie was talking, "I don't care what you need to say, sunshine, you can say it in front of all of us."

Justin felt his lips quirk up at the ends; not in a smile but a grimace. He could only imagine he looked vaguely like Brian when he got annoyed. "Deb," now the grimace had been replaced by a fake smile, "I really don't think now is a good time. We're enjoying ourselves - " kind of " - and I don't want to get in the way of that."

"Did I do something?" Micheal piped up, looking mildly unhinged. 

Justin felt Brian brush his thumb across his knuckles encouragingly. When he glanced at him, Brian stared back, gave a curt nod that was so small if he hadn't been looking right at him Justin probably would've missed it. In his own small ways, Brian was supporting him, letting him know he would back any decision he made, and that was both comforting but also scary as shit.

For once Justin might've preferred the old Brian; the one who would've done anything if it meant keeping Justin from opening his big mouth. 

Pulling his eyes away from Brian, he took the plunge. "Michael, I need to talk to you about something you said a few years ago."

Michael looked confused. 

He totally didn't know where Justin was going with this, and that didn't make Justin feel any better. Maybe Michael really did forget or worse maybe he never thought it was worth remembering to begin with. Maybe it _wasn't_. Maybe he was overreacting and the second he got the words out he wanted to say everyone at the table would burst out laughing. Justin stared at his glass of water.

"Justin?" Michael prompted.

Oh, he was going to be sick. Before he could run to the bathroom, Brian started talking,

"Do you all remember when I punched Michael?" Justin barely peeked up from under his eyelashes in time to see the shocked expressions across the table. He side-eyed Brian, watching him closely as he continued, face as calm as ever. "I know you all just assumed I was being my good ol' usual self," his voice was dripping with sarcasm and Justin couldn't help smiling a little, "but something happened that day that Justin decides needs to be discussed, and I don't blame him."

His smile immediately disappeared as he saw the guilty look that flashed across Michael's face; he remembered. 

Brian shifted in his chair, leaning back slightly. He stared at Michael, his next words for him only - not the group. "I told Justin."

Confusion erupted, nobody at the table knowing yet what was going on. Justin knew this was his moment; he had to take it, no holding back. He focused his attention on Michael. "Judging from the look on your face, you know what we're talking about." He paused just long enough to get a proper answer out of Michael; a nod would have to do. "I didn't want to discuss this right now because quite frankly this is between us, but..."

"But I pushed," Michael mumbled so low Justin barely heard him. "Justin, I never - "

Debbie interrupted once more, and Justin refrained from snapping at her. "What is this about?" she huffed. "That happened almost four years ago, sunshine."

He licked his lips, stared at Michael. He wanted to give him the option; tell the others yourself or I'll be forced to do it. A part of Justin hoped Michael would take the former of the two choices. He didn't. He kept quiet as he pulled his eyes away from Justin and looked at the table, nervously playing with his napkin. He almost looked like a child about to be scolded, Justin realized with a pulling at his heart but as soon as the thought had entered his mind it was pushed back out. 

"But he said something that day that I only found out about recently," Justin said, still feeling a little unsure if he was doing the right thing or not.

Debbie furrowed her brows, looking confused but not saying a word. Now _that_ was unusual.

"I never..." Now it was Melanie talking. "I never really considered why Brian had punched him, just that he did."

Justin smiled at her tightly. "Yeah, you all have a habit of doing that; just assuming Brian is in the wrong without knowing the context of a situation." He felt Brian squeeze his hand under the table and when he glanced at him Brian gave him a pointed look. Right. While that _was_ an issue he would love addressing, this wasn't the right moment. "Well, Brian had his reason."

Debbie narrowed her eyes - not really at Justin, just at the general idea he was implying. "No matter what, he didn't deserve to be punched."

"Debatable," Justin replied, thinking back on the conversation he had had with Brian. He almost smiled; he really was taking after him. "He was defending me."

Her eyes softened a bit, waiting. 

"Right before Brian punched you - " he was looking at Michael again " - you said something about me... that was really," there was only one word for it, "hurtful."

Just then, the waitress showed up and Justin felt both oddly annoyed and relieved. She must've sensed the tension at the table because she quickly put all the plates down with help from a second waitress before they both scurried off. When they disappeared towards a different table, Justin thought maybe he should drop the conversation and wait for now.

But truthfully he was just digging for an excuse because he was nervous as shit. He knew that, Brian obviously knew that as he _accidentally_ \- sure, he believed that - bumped shoulders with him. Once again, he only knew how to show his support with actions, not words. Looking around, he realized nobody was eating. Licking his lips, he continued.

"Michael, I don't want to hold what you said against you, but it was fucked." No other word for it. "Not only towards me, but Brian is your best friend - how could you have said something so insensitive?" Suddenly Justin was on a roll and there was no stopping him, all his emotions and words pouring out at once. "The bashing screwed with him even more than it probably screwed with me." Justin didn't even notice the strange looks he got after that, going on. "He was a goddamn mess."

He paused and glanced at Brian, offering a questioning smile. Brian did that slow blink, a signature of his, and Justin knew he hadn't overstepped - yet.

"But what you said isn't the actual problem here." Justin took his eyes away from Brian, settling his gaze on Michael. "It's the fact you never apologized to me. And Brian, you should've fucking groveled at his feet for what he did. If he wasn't such a good fucking person - " he pointedly looked around the table " - because he fucking is, believe it or not, then you never would've gotten away with saying that, he would ratted you out right then and there but he didn't. Did you ever say 'thanks?'" Michael didn't move, say a word but Justin knew the answer; Brian had told him. "No, of course not because your mother has babied the fuck out of you."

"Sunshine," Debbie warned.

Oh no, there was no scaring him. Justin peered at her, eyes steady. "You baby him, Deb, you treat him like he can do no wrong when you're always on Brian's ass for every little thing he does wrong - it's fucking hypocritical because in the end Michael can be just as big of an asshole as Brian, if not bigger." Pausing, he breathed in, regaining his composure a bit. 

"But..." Lindsay hesitated. "What did Michael say?"

Unlike with the others, she seemed genuinely concerned, not just in it for the drama. As much as Justin loved this group, they were far from perfect.

He clicked his tongue. "I'll only tell if Michael is okay with it."

Justin noticed how shocked Michael looked by that. Unlike him, Justin wasn't a complete selfish prick. 

But then, Michael proved he wasn't either when he nodded, looking ashamed. 

Justin barely noticed Brian had leaned in at first until he felt his lips gently grazing his ear. "You're a strong, stubborn little shit." Stifling a smile, Justin realized Brian could encourage him with words too - he just wasn't any _good_ at it. Justin reached up, paused for the briefest of seconds before running his hand through Brian's hair, down his cheek. Justin felt a little more relaxed, ready. 

Looking back towards the group, he explained best he could. "Michael approached Brian at the party, he was angry about me being with Ethan because apparently I had used Brian and was a selfish shit who never gave anything back even though Brian gave me everything." Justin hated the words even just being on his tongue; all lies. "That wasn't the part that got him punched though. He then went on and said I hadn't been worth it, that Brian should've left me there." He saw the confused looks all around. "In the parking garage," then added after a beat, "after the bashing."

Before he could react, Debbie was smacking Michael upside the back of his head. Justin winced. 

" _Michael_ _Charles Novotny,_ how dare you say such a horrible thing!" Debbie looked at Justin but then Brian, and Justin could see the guilt in her eyes. He only hoped Brian could. Focusing her attention back on Michael, she huffed. "And you let Brian get away with taking the blame!"

Michael ducked when she tried hitting him again. "It's not like I told him to do it! He just... did!"

"Of course he did," Justin exclaimed, "because he fucking loves you, Michael, and you could've showed him the same amount of love if you hadn't let him take the blame." He leaned back in his chair, feeling oddly content. It felt nice getting some stuff off his chest. "But you didn't because despite all the claims this group makes for you, you're just like the rest of us - just like Brian. You're a selfish piece of shit."

His eyes fluttered as he glanced at Brian. 

"But actually Brian is better than all of us," Justin continued after a beat, "because he's at least honest. We? We all talk shit behind closed doors when we think nobody is listening, we do shit for ourselves but only if we think we won't get caught because god forbid we look 'selfish'. But you know what? There's nothing _wrong_ with putting yourself first because if Brian is right about one thing it's that the only person you can truly trust is you."

Wow, he felt rejuvenated after all that. Justin looked back towards the others, away from Brian.

"I'm mad Michael said what he did. God, am I mad, but this goes deeper than that. Michael should've been honest since the beginning but he played doe-eyed and let Brian - the easy target - take the blame. I'm okay, I'm fine, the bashing was what it was but I got through it and I'm..." Justin sucked his bottom lip in, paused. "I'm better now, happy. But this weird shit you've all got going on where you honestly think you're better than Brian hasn't stopped and I'm not sure it ever will. That's an ongoing problem and I've been sick of it for a long ass time but this," he gestured, "was just a good fucking opportunity to bring it up - a good example even."

With that, Justin stood up and took some money out of his pocket. Michael hesitated. "Justin, I can still - "

"Don't."

Placing the money on the table, he stood still for a second, staring at his makeshift family. "I forgive you, Michael, for what you said but not for everything."

Finished, he started for the exit. He only realized Brian had followed him when he stepped outside and the door didn't close right away. Brian stood in the door, looking between Justin and the group. Finally, he made his decision and softly closed the door. "I," Brian cleared his throat and stepped closer to Justin. Justin made the first move, placing his hands on Brian's sides and pulling him in for a hug. Brian relaxed in his arms. "You really didn't have to do that, Sunshine, I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself. I... I only let you do that because I thought this was about you."

Justin buried his face in Brian's chest, breathing in the familiar, comforting scent. "This is about me." Pulling back a little, he glanced up at Brian. "It really does hurt me Michael would say that but at the end of the day I know he was just talking shit. He cares about me, little as he might show it and I care about him. After thinking on it, I realized why I was so angry. Because of you. You do so much for me, for us, and it seems like it's never enough. I'm tired of it, okay? I'm tired of seeing the person I love be disrespected and emotionally abused."

Brian gave a half-smile. "You really are a piece of shit, you know that?"

"Mhm," Justin mumbled, "but you're _not_ , you know that?"

Brian clicked his tongue. "I might now."


End file.
